Creating a Stable Parenting Plan After Divorce
Divorce has the potential to uproot your life and that of your former partner. However, children often feel the brunt of divorce as well. Creating a stable, predictable environment is crucial for their well-being. A well-crafted parenting plan can go a long way to building that stability and setting you and your co-parent up for success. This comprehensive roadmap might sort out everything from schedules to decision-making processes. Here’s our guide to creating your unique parenting plan from scratch.
What Is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a written agreement between parents that details how they will raise their children after separating or divorcing. Think of it as a rulebook for post-divorce parenting. Primarily, this plan is meant to keep your children’s best interests at the forefront of all decision-making. British Columbia encourages parents to create parenting plans to facilitate cooperation and reduce future disputes. What’s more, a clear, detailed plan provides predictability for children and helps them adjust to their new family structure with a sense of security.
Is There a Co-Parenting Plan Template?
While there’s no one-size-fits-all co-parenting plan template, you can use a few tried-and-true components to build your plan. Most successful parenting plans include these core elements:
Custody and Parenting Time
This section outlines where the children will live and how much time they will spend with each parent. The arrangements can vary widely depending on your family’s needs. As a rule, this schedule should be specific, detailing exact days and times for pick-ups and drop-offs to avoid confusion. The child custody section of your parenting plan should also include details about their primary residence.
Decision-Making Authority
This part of the plan specifies who has the authority to make major decisions about the children’s lives. In British Columbia, this is also referred to as “parental responsibilities.” Parents can agree to share all these responsibilities, divide them, or have one parent make all major decisions. These decisions often involve:
- Health—Decisions about doctors, dentists, orthodontists, and medical treatments.
- Education—Choices regarding schools, tutoring, and extracurricular activities.
- Religion—Decisions about the child’s religious upbringing and participation.
- Significant Extracurriculars—Agreements on major activities like competitive sports or arts programs.
Communication Protocols
The best parenting plans outline how co-parents will communicate with each other. This might include using a dedicated co-parenting app, agreeing to communicate only via email about non-urgent matters, or setting specific times for phone calls. Regardless of the method, the goal is always to keep communication respectful and focused on the children.
Tips for Creating a Child-Focused Plan
The most effective parenting plans are those created with the children’s needs at front of mind. Here are some helpful tips for drafting an initial parenting plan:
- Prioritize Your Child’s Needs—Before you do anything else, consider what exactly your child needs. This will vary based on your child’s age, temperament, and developmental stage. Of course, a schedule that works for a teenager may not be suitable for a toddler who needs more frequent contact with both parents.
- Minimize Conflict—Your children should never be caught in the middle. As a rule of thumb, agree not to speak negatively about the other parent in front of them or use them as messengers. A strong parenting plan helps by setting clear expectations, which reduces the potential for day-to-day disagreements.
- Be Flexible—Life happens. A plan should be a guide, not a rigid set of rules that can’t be bent. Understand that you may need to make minor, temporary changes to the schedule once in a while.
- Involve a Neutral Third Party—If you and your ex-partner are struggling to agree, a mediator can help. A family law professional can help you negotiate a plan that works for everyone while keeping the focus on your children.
Is a Parenting Plan Legally Enforceable?
It depends. Any parent can create an informal parenting plan, but making it legally enforceable requires extra steps. In British Columbia, a parenting plan becomes a legally binding agreement when it is signed by both parents and filed with the court. Once filed, the agreement has the same effect as a court order. This means if one parent fails to follow the plan, the other can seek help from the court to enforce it.
Dealing With Common Challenges
Even with the most air-tight child custody agreement, challenges are bound to come up. Get familiar with some of the most common issues so you can anticipate them before they become a major problem:
Holidays and Special Occasions
Holidays are often a source of contention. Your plan should explicitly state how major holidays (like Christmas, Easter, and summer vacation) will be divided. Many parents choose to alternate holidays each year. Be sure to include birthdays, both the children’s and the parents’.
Relocation
What happens if one parent wants to move? British Columbia has specific rules about relocation. Your plan should include a clause that requires a parent to give advance written notice (usually 60 days) of any planned move and to seek the other parent’s consent or a court order if the move will impact parenting time.
Paving the Way for a Stable Future
Creating a parenting plan may feel like a hassle, but it’s a fantastic way to ensure your child’s needs stay at the forefront of all decisions. However, drafting one from nothing can quickly become complicated. Here’s where Clark Woods LLP can help. Our team is dedicated to assisting families in the Lower Mainland and Metro Vancouver with all kinds of family law issues, including child custody agreements. We’ll work with you to ensure your parenting rights are protected, and your children have a stable home environment. Get in touch with us today to speak with a member of our family law team.
